Monday, December 8, 2014

Baby Update

 I thought I'd give an update on the baby front since this is why I started this blog.  It has definitely been therapeutic for me.  It helps me to write things down and I also don't get so many questions from so many people regarding the topic.  I definitely don't mind the questions, but I know some people might feel uncomfortable asking and this way it's out in the open.  

Many of you know that we went thru an IUI treatment (IUI info) last month and also know that it didn't work.  Because of some insurance things we found out about we decided to try again this month.  I chose not to tell anyone this time because of how hard it was on me emotionally last month when I found out it didn't work.  Unfortunately it didn't work this month either. 

I can't even begin to explain the heartbreak of having this not work for us.  I'm not sure what our next step will be but I have a meeting with my fertility doctor on Wednesday morning. 

I'm just going to put it out there for everyone.  Nothing anyone says to me will make me feel better.  Unless you've gone thru this and treatments yourself, you can't comprehend the pain and heartbreak I go thru every single month.  The emotional roller coaster is exhausting and there's a solid week out of every month where I'm straight up faking it.  I'm not writing this blog for people to pity me or feel bad for me.  I'm writing to get this stuff out of my head and heart and so those interested stay updated.  As encouraging as you may think you're being or the advice you're giving, remember I've heard it all.  I've researched it all.  I tell myself the same things over and over.  I just need/want my friends and family to understand it sucks.  

It sucks but please know that I still appreciate everyone's support and prayers.  I don't know what our next step in this experience will be for us but I pray for guidance and financial answers as well.  

I think my next post will be some sort of delicious Christmas baking thing....