Barbados Baby Growing

I know a lot of our friends and family (and beyond) have been praying so much and so hard for us this last week so I wanted to give you all an update. This will be brief for update purposes today. I'll post a nice blog when we get back of pics from Barbados.

First I encourage you if you don't understand the jargon I use, please research it! There's so much I didn't know about our bodies untill going thru this and it really is amazing what our bodies do.

We had egg retrieval today. We ended up a few days behind an average schedule because my ovaries took a little longer to grow those follicles nice a big. My left ovary sucks at being an ovary because of my endometriosis on that side but my right is perfectly healthy. Because of those factors, they were only able to retrieve 5 eggs today. I was disappointed since I had been hoping for over 10 (10-15 can be average for someone my age and healthy). BUT! You only need 1 for a baby technically. They are fertilizing them tonight and we will get a call tomorrow letting us know how many survived fertilization.
If we only have 2-3 make it, we will most likely be doing transfer (where they put the embryos back in me) on Monday and doing them all due to lack of embryo quality. Our plan had been 2 max but that was assuming We'd have lots of healthy embryos to freeze and use later. If miraculously all 5 make it, we will let them grow to day 5 and do a transfer of only 2 on Wednesday, and freeze the rest.

This plan would put us here an extra day or 2 but hey, it's beautiful here and it's January in Minnesota there so.....

That's our update. We are still needing lots of prayers for healthy embryos and for them to snuggle in my uterus and stick there and become a baby!

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers so far, they really have helped keep me sane and positive and faithful thru all of this.

Barbados Baby

Happy Winter (I love the snow but hate the long cold) and almost Merry Christmas!  Christmas is my favorite!  The decorations, the music, the love and family all around.  Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Some of you may already know this but we have decided to do our IVF treatment overseas.  With our flight benefits with Joe working for Delta Airlines and the treatment being half the price compared to here, it just made sense to us.  

I've already started the first phase of medications and have been tirelessly working to compare prices for the rest.  It's insane the amount of medications and the cost!  I'm probably going to be going thru several pharmacies just to get the best prices on each drug.  

I thankfully won't be starting any injections I think until right after Christmas so I shouldn't be a total hormonal mess thru the holidays.  Though we have extended family parties the first 2 weeks in January so I apologize in advance to all my family if I cry uncontrollably for no reason at all!  Maybe I'll be fine, right?!?!?!

All of this will put us in Barbados the middle of January thru the end.  No better time to be on an island than January when you live in Minnesota! And I've loved the Doctor and Coordinator I have down there already!

That's my update for now and I hope to keep better at this thru this journey.  I realize it's different and unconventional but I am hopeful and feel excited about it.  I have a very good and positive outlook on this course of action.  I'm also just excited to be moving forward with a plan of action.

Benefit Update - SUCCESS!!!

I've been meaning to write a post to give everyone an update on our benefit.  

It was a huge SUCCESS!  

We can't even begin to thank everyone who helped and donated.  Without our family and friends it wouldn't have been nearly as successful as it was.  

We raised on that day alone around $4,200!  This is awesome!  It's all put away in a special savings account for our IVF treatment whenever we're able to move forward with it.  

Now we are actually researching doing our treatment over seas.  With our flight benefits with Delta and the money we have saved, it puts us even closer to attempting IVF than if we were to do this at home.  I'll try and keep you guys updated on here if we move forward with that.  It could be a very interesting journey to follow, doing this over seas. 

I want to give a special thank you and shout out to those that helped and donated for our special day;

• Action Auto in Minneapolis
• Ray J's American Grill
• ThreadJoy
• LOOKS by Milan
• Que Viet Consessions - best eggrolls ever!
• Glitterati Illustration
• Tiny Moment's Photography
• Colleen Christina Photography
• Bekki McClure for Young Living Oils
• LifeSpa St Louis Park
• Lifetime Fitness
• Selah Therapies Massage
• Michaela Tieben Massage
• Teal Macziewski Pedicures/Manicures
• Zina Lisak and her sister and her church Riverdale Church
• My mom Lisa =)
• My sister in law Brianna
• My brother Isaac
• My Aunt Wendy
• My sister in law Kristie for putting together gift baskets
• My mother in law Gwen
• Linda Leach & Karissa
• Kaley Miller
• Katie Jacob
• Angie Sokol

I really hope I'm not forgetting anyone but if I am, Thank you!!!!  We couldn't have done this or been this successful with out all of you!  

BENEFIT WEEK!!!!!!!

OMG its the week of Baby Bents Benefit!  

Having a benefit thrown for you to help you raise money, for any reason, is not something you ever think you will need in your life.  We have been very humbled by the amount of support and love and generosity shown to us through this process.  

A special thank you to my mom's co-worker Zina and her church, Riverdale Church in Andover, for putting this together and hosting for us!

Now.....I get to tell you about all the things we will have available at the event!

We will have multiple vendors setting up and selling their items;

• Glitterati Illustration
• ThreadJoy
• LOOKS by Milan
• Magnolia & Vine
• Melaleuca
• 2 Massage Therapists setting up chair massage!!!!!!

The following are just a few of the auction and raffle items we will have available;

• Kerastase, Matrix, DevaCurl & Moroccan Oil Professional Hair Products
• Ray J's Gift Cards!!! Best Wings around!
• Action Auto Gift cards
• Boar's Head Meat and Cheese Basket
• Photography sessions from Tiny Moment's Photography and Colleen Christina Photography
• Lifetime LifeSpa Spa Package
• Lifetime MediSpa Package
• Lifetime Membership Package
• Pedicure
• Manicure
• Airbrush Makeup Application
• Lacrosse Lesson
• AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!

You can tell I work in a salon with all the hair products and spa sessions I have to give away!

There will be a large section set up like a garage sale as well with tons of random stuff to shop for including plants for you garden!

We are also selling the AMAZING Que Viet eggrolls!  These things will seriously change your outlook on eggrolls in this world.  I can't eat any others now.  And my mom has been working hard on lots of breads and bread doughs for take and bake you can purchase as well!  

ALL proceeds will be going directly into our baby fund.  

I want to say again how much we appreciate all of the people putting their time, money, merchandise etc into this event for us.  We can't even begin to thank you all enough.  

Hope to see as many of you there as possible!  Let's make this a great event not just for Joe and me but also for the wonderful vendors setting up shop for us!  

Baby Bents Benefit

Happy Summertime!!!!  
Summer is my favorite season of all, too bad it's the shortest here in Minnesota.  I love the heat and sun and a good thunderstorm!  

We have been blessed with the surprise of a friend planning a fundraiser/benefit to help us raise money for IVF.  This is something I would never have done on my own because we have ZERO desire to ask people for money.  But we have had multiple friends and family members ask us how they can donate to help us have a family.  Because of this I'm happy to participate in this benefit if it brings us closer to having our own little family.  

The benefit will have a number of things going on! We will have multiple crafters and businesses set up selling their items, items for a silent auction to bid on and a handful of items for a raffle.  There will also be baked goods and our friends' amazing eggrolls for sale for eating.  :-)

I really just want the place to be packed with people we love and who support us with no obligation of donating anything!  

If anyone has any ideas of anywhere we can ask for more auction items or ideas, please let me know!  We will take all the help we can get to make this as successful as possible.

The Baby Bents Benefit will be held on Saturday August 15 from 10am-1pm at Riverdale Church in Andover, MN

I have also set up a youcaring page for those that can't make it to the benefit but have it on their heart to contribute.

http://www.youcaring.com/alaina-and-joe-bents-386014

Garage Sale-ing!

Hey y'all! I think summer has finally arrived for us Minnesotans and I'm so very happy for it. With summer in Minnesota comes garage sales, Joe's favorite thing!

I have decided this year to join in on our neighborhood garage sale! I am using this as a jump start to raising money for us for IVF treatments. We have been blessed with many donations of items from family and friends for us to try and sell.

The sale is Saturday June 13 from 11-6. If you want to stop and just say hi I'd love to see your pretty faces! No need to buy things, I'm sure we will have plenty of garage sale-ing people for that.

If you are in need of any items like tools, household items, baby clothes etc, feel free to come look around. There may or may not be special treats for your purchasing pleasure as well 😉

Woo-hoo for summer!

New Seasons

Hello Spring!!!!!!  Is everyone as excited about the nice weather as I am?!  I have beautiful plants and flowers coming up and it makes me so happy!  Spring means new growth and life and a new season.  And also no more winter ;-)

I've been trying to brainstorm ideas for raising money for us to do IVF.  I've received a lot of advice and support on different things to try.  The big one everyone recommends is garage sales.  I'm going to try and join up with as many as I can.  We don't have a garage nor a yard really to host my own.  If anyone out there does one or plans on it this year and wouldn't mind me setting up my own stuff and helping you work it, I'd love to!  Also, if anyone out there has stuff they know they want to get rid of but don't like to or don't have time for marking and selling, I would love for you to consider donating the items to my "cause".  I will happily price, transport and sell it for you!  I'll do whatever you'd like me to do with the proceeds I make from selling your things. 

I'm also thinking of making/sewing items to sell either in an Etsy store or possibly at these garage sales. My sister in law Brianna can knit and will learn to sew things with me and my other sister in law Kristie has offered to help teach me how to sew!  Considering I've never touched a sewing machine (maybe in middle school???) I will need all the help I can get!!!

Feel free to contact me if you're interested in helping in any way.  Or if you have ideas for me!  I'm not good at this whole brainstorming/raising money thing.  I'll take all the help and advice I can get!

One more time

The last 2 months have been kind of intense on the baby front. We have increased my meds including injections and progesterone supplements. If any of you know me, you're aware of my hatred of needles but I'm rather proud of myself having done them all myself! Unfortunately, even though my body reacted perfectly to the meds and our numbers on all fronts were fantastic, it still didn't take. Here are my fun shots - 

With this heartbreaking news comes some major decision making on our part. We're allowed one more round of what we've been doing. Then we will have to move forward with IVF most likely. This option is scary and stressful not only in the case of what I will have to go thru but financially. The prices are astronomical and that is a stress I'm not sure we are able to endure.  Elsa tries to help me feel better by taking naps with me....its as comfortable as it looks

In the meantime, prayers are always welcome. For what choices to make and God's patience, healing and guidance for my heart.

Also a hilarious video of what I imagine it was like having me as a child getting shots.  My dad says that's pretty much what I was like....

Baby Update

 I thought I'd give an update on the baby front since this is why I started this blog.  It has definitely been therapeutic for me.  It helps me to write things down and I also don't get so many questions from so many people regarding the topic.  I definitely don't mind the questions, but I know some people might feel uncomfortable asking and this way it's out in the open.  

Many of you know that we went thru an IUI treatment (IUI info) last month and also know that it didn't work.  Because of some insurance things we found out about we decided to try again this month.  I chose not to tell anyone this time because of how hard it was on me emotionally last month when I found out it didn't work.  Unfortunately it didn't work this month either. 

I can't even begin to explain the heartbreak of having this not work for us.  I'm not sure what our next step will be but I have a meeting with my fertility doctor on Wednesday morning. 

I'm just going to put it out there for everyone.  Nothing anyone says to me will make me feel better.  Unless you've gone thru this and treatments yourself, you can't comprehend the pain and heartbreak I go thru every single month.  The emotional roller coaster is exhausting and there's a solid week out of every month where I'm straight up faking it.  I'm not writing this blog for people to pity me or feel bad for me.  I'm writing to get this stuff out of my head and heart and so those interested stay updated.  As encouraging as you may think you're being or the advice you're giving, remember I've heard it all.  I've researched it all.  I tell myself the same things over and over.  I just need/want my friends and family to understand it sucks.  

It sucks but please know that I still appreciate everyone's support and prayers.  I don't know what our next step in this experience will be for us but I pray for guidance and financial answers as well.  

I think my next post will be some sort of delicious Christmas baking thing....

My Soapbox for the Day

Carrie Underwood came out with a new song last week.  It's beautiful, moving and inspirational, with a very strong christian/biblical stance.  For me, it has touched me and spoken to me in a way I didn't realize I needed until I heard it.  I know I've said before that I am mildly (slightly more?) obsessed with her.  I love her voice and her music but mostly I love her steadfast faith and the fact that she doesn't let producers/managers/the public tell her she shouldn't be vocal about her faith in God.  She's not afraid of whatever public backlash there may be just because she loves God and doesn't care who knows it.  

Unfortunately, because of her beautiful song (which I'm sure has spoken to others, not just myself) atheists are screaming mad and demanding radio stations stop playing her song.  Because they don't believe in God.  

Look, I am a big believer in not judging others, it's not our place.  Do I fail at this at times?  Yes, of course, I'm only human.  I have to remind myself constantly to not judge someone, I don't know their life story, where they've come from, what kind of day they've had etc. Therefore, I will do my best not to judge you based on differing beliefs.  But I would NEVER demand that a friend/coworker/family member/stranger stop what they're saying and be silenced simply because I don't agree with them.  I mean, we live in America where our founders created a Bill of Rights that has established the freedoms we have in our country.  The very first amendment includes freedom of speech.  It was written with the original intention of making sure the government couldn't silence a citizen simply because they don't agree with them.  I highly doubt the government would get involved in banning a Carrie Underwood song but it won't stop radio stations if they are pressured enough.  

I guess my issue is, I as a Christian, am not demanding that atheists be silenced because I don't agree with them.  Why does one group of people get to bully and push around another simply because of differing opinions?  And yes, I'm serious when I say bully.  A bully is defined as someone who attempts to dominate or intimidate another they view as weaker Bully Definition.  Why do we focus so much on the bullies in our schools etc when they are only learning from the adults in the world around us?  Why do we as adults think we can essentially bully someone just because we don't agree or don't like them, then reprimand our children for doing the same to their peers?  

Thankfully Carrie has said what I would say to those that want to silence her,

 “Country music is different,” Underwood announced. “You have that Bible Belt-ness about it. I’m not the first person to sing about God, Jesus, faith, or any of that, and I won’t be the last. And it won’t be the last for me, either. If you don’t like it, change the channel."

Carrie Article

Though I wish she didn't feel the need to justify it by saying "country music is different", at least she's not backing down and backtracking on her beliefs.

If you don't like it, change the channel.  I love it.

She has another beautiful song for our troops.  I won't share so as not to overload you all with Carrie but it's called Keep us Safe if you'd like to find it on youtube. 

Weddings, State Fair and New Babies!

August came with lots of fun things to do!  We got to go to Atlanta for a friend's wedding and got to see some great friends while we were there!  

And then there's the MN STATE FAIR!  For those that don't know, I'm mildly obsessed with the fair.  I've only got 1 visit under my belt....so far this year.  Joe and I plan on going tomorrow though as well!  My first visit was just me and my niece and nephew, Jaden and Skylar.  They let me take a few photos.  Jaden even insisted on taking a selfie with me =)

    Sky insisted on cross eyes in this pic          

 Here's a normal one

Selfie time!

Little farmers in the making!

In other fun news.....I decided to start fostering for the Animal Humane Society. You thought I meant "real" babies?! The only animals I'm taking right now are kittens and oh my goodness, are they so much fun!!!  They are all black and Joe calls them his ninjas. I've named them;

Princess Buttercup - The only girl in the group, is half the size of the boys but very vocal and holds her own against the boys really well!  Loves to cuddle right on your chest tucked under your chin.

 Brutus - The biggest and only longhair, he's kind of a loner, but totally chill.  Lets you pick him up and hold him like a baby and is super gentle.  When they get tuckered out he's the only one that will go nap across the couch from you instead of cuddling with you.

The Twins - working on names for each but I seriously can't tell them apart!  Both will purr immediately when you just touch or pick them up.  Both like to lay on your lap or right by you with their head on you when they need a nap. 

The Animal Humane Society needs fosters for kittens mainly because they aren't big enough to be adopted yet.  So I get them when they're really little and take care of them, bring them to vet rechecks where they get weighed and shots and basically just play till they weight enough  They are seriously so much fun and so adorable I can't hardly stand it.  I will have them a total of at least a month and will be so sad when I have to bring them back in.  We're welcome to have visitors come and meet them so just let me know if you wanna come play!  

I've also started a second job serving at a restaurant by my house.  It's newer and so delicious!  It's call Sonora Grill right on Lake street east of Hiawatha.  I'm working mostly lunch shifts but come see me and try it out sometime!

That's all the news right now other than being sad that its basically September which means summer is over =( I am definitely not looking forward to cold weather coming our way.  Except for cooking delicious feel good home cooked meals.....Chili for dinner tonight on this rainy Friday.

Have a Lovely Labor Day weekend everyone!  Be safe and have fun!

Nashville, Grand Ole Opry, Carrie Underwood and Renewed Friendship!

Nashville was a success!  A quick trip with an old friend but packed with relaxation and new sites and of course, Carrie Underwood.  

Jen and Luke Fredrickson were kind enough to host me for the weekend and what wonderful hosts they were!  They fed me, drove me around and showed me the fun of Nashville.  And of course, we got to hang by their pool a few hours each day as well.  Can't get much better than that!  I've included a few pictures of the wonderful trip.  It was much needed and so enjoyable, I'm excited to go back and visit again soon.  Hopefully with my husband.  Maybe I can finally convince him to buy me some amazing cowboy boots. What better place than Nashville?!

If you aren't familiar with the Opry (I wasn't) you see about 8 different acts in the night, each only performing for 15min, 3 songs each, except for Carrie who was last and got a half hour.  We did get to see 1 comedian in the mix, he was actually quite funny.  Here's his website

http://www.henrychocomedy.com/

If anyone is familiar with the show Nashville, the girls who play sisters are actually sisters in real life.  And they're amazingly talented.  They are Lennon and Maisy and are only 14 and 9 years old!  I've included a youtube video of one of my favorite songs they do.

The Band Perry also performed, I know most of you know who they are already so no need for a video, they did well though!

Here's Jen and a me in front of the Opry!

The adorable/beautiful Lennon and Maisy

The Beautiful Carrie Underwood!

Downtown Nashville Strip - they actually have a live band karaoke bar called The Wannabe's bar LOL

Famous bar Tootsies

And the 3 Amigos for the weekend

Again, a huge thank you to Jen and Luke for being amazing hosts and letting me come experience Nashville for the first with you guys!

Urgent Care and Carrie Underwood

So I didn't think I'd be writing this blog quite this often but things just keep happening!  

I found myself in urgent care yesterday, how I got there I can't quite remember considering the amount of pain I was in had me hyperventilating. My mom kept me on the phone (bluetooth handsfree in the car, don't worry) the whole drive there just in case. Turns out I have multiple cysts on my left ovary.  Who knew these little guys could cause so much pain!  So after spending all day at the urgent care, multiple blood draws, a shot in the butt, a CT scan and 2 different types of ultra sounds, I was sent home with a prescription for vicodin at 5:30.  Needless to say, they don't do much for cysts other that manage the pain for you because they typically resolve on their own.  

Now I have a phone call into the fertility clinic to find out if the drugs I was on last month can trigger something like this to happen.  Seems like if it's not one thing its another lately.  

Something exciting and happy to tell you about!?  I get to go to Nashville on Friday for the weekend to see an old and good friend of mine who just moved there!  I'm so excited!  I've never been there before (shocking I know, considering my musical background) and to make things better, we get to see Carrie Underwood at the Grand Ol' Opry!  Many of you know this about me already but in case you didn't I LOVE CARRIE UNDERWOOD!  So I look forward to my fun exciting weekend with my friend Jen and exploring Nashville with her.  I will hopefully have some great pics to post on my next blog and I will tell you all about it!  

I hope everyone has a great weekend as well!  Here's my favorite performance by Carrie.  Grab a tissue, it's beyond moving.

Information Overload

We went to an informational meeting this past Saturday all about adoption and international adoption thru Lutheran Social Services and Children's Home Society (they are partners in adoption services).  A thanks to both our moms for joining us in order to have extra ears there! Talk about a ton of info!  We're more interested in international adoption and of course they didn't get to that until the last hour of the 4hr meeting =) Interestingly, we ended up most drawn to adoption from the Marshall Islands.  Here's a link to their tourism page. 

http://www.visitmarshallislands.com

The Marshall Islands ask that to adopt from their country that you keep the adoption somewhat open.  I haven't been open to that in a domestic adoption but am ok in this instance.  The idea that the birth parents can't show up at my door but we can plan a trip to go visit on our terms and that child can know their heritage if they want seems great to both of us.  

Now the catch is this; they expect adopting parents to stop fertility treatments when going thru the adoption process.  Also, if we were to get pregnant, we would need to stop the adoption process.  Seeing as how it would take 1-3 years to actually be placed with an adopted child, I don't want to just stop trying to get pregnant but if we wait to start the adoption process and don't get pregnant in a couple years again, we're that much more behind on the adoption process.  It's totally a catch 22.  

We definitely need some guidance and direction on what to do.  We won't be doing any fertility treatments in the next couple months anyway but if we wait to register to start adoption, we'll be that much more behind.  

Please pray for some guidance for us in which steps to take next.  

When the World Knocks You Down

So with so many things going on in life and a million things running thru my mind every second of every day, I've decided to start a blog.  Getting things out of my head, whether it's stress, frustrations, recipes or pictures of my cats or niece & nephew, helps me to feel like I'm not alone.  

Many of you know my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over 2 years now.  There's nothing "wrong" with either one of us so therefore, we're an unexplained infertility case.  I've gone thru several rounds of a couple different fertility drugs and been monitored by a great fertility clinic. Still to no avail. What you may or may not know is this stuff costs quite a bit of money.  So, we won't be doing anything for the next couple of months in order to feel more financially stable. 

That being said, I've decided to sign us up for an adoption informational seminar.  Sounds super fun, right?  I've actually always wanted to adopt (though I want my own children as well).  Since getting pregnant doesn't seem to be working or in God's plan for whatever reason, I want to move forward with some other way for me to have in my life the baby I've desired since I can remember.  

Everyone keeps telling me that God has a plan and even though we don't understand it, He knows best. While my brain agrees with this, my heart is still broken and doesn't understand why God would be ok with breaking my heart over and over. I just pray that whatever His plan is, whenever I get to see it fulfilled, it will be so much better than I could have hoped for myself. 

Until next time, thanks for reading :-)